Life has this wonderful wave to it, you ride it out like a surfer with no real direct input on the ultimate here and now, only the modist minor change to the end result and my mental health is currently at an all time low, creatively and motivily.

I have a brand new single releasing 03/09/21, I guess pre-release my health - mentally anyway, has this spike like nature to it - the fear and tightly clenching crossed fingers that people like the new single even as far as to say i hope it pushes me musically and in my career forward rather than pushing me backwards.

I guess at the time of writing this I am trapped in this awful bubble of life which I can't find an answer out yet that will enable me to pursue a clear path musically which is why my time and attention on here is spase to say the least.

I know I shouldn't rant or be down about the privileges I hold but the shire fakery of the modern social media life would lead you to believe its all perfect and were all awesome and we are all the stars of our own realms of individuality but honestly?, I feel like I'm dragged along the dirt in the shadows cast by individuals less able than myself which - for my mental health anyway, is a knife's edge of living.

To be clear, when I say less able - I'm in no way talking able-bodied or mentally, I'm talking specifically in relation to abilities held back by presumption, ignorance and laziness. I see it alot in the small social links between individuals that studied music with me, waaay back when, whom, resolve every hurdle with a fine night amount of money, mixing? - sorted, production? - easy. Mastering? fire that check my way, gigs? sure thing, Where-as us fellow creative mind-alike people spend time and skills to perfect our visions that (speaking purely in relation to my case) is just thrown under the bus and as dangerous as it is to compere its also impossible not to.

it sucks

but I am looking forward, the next chapter, the new unlocked United Kingdom beyond the Covid and where that leaves me, who, has been mostly sat at home and in the rehearsal room all alone towards focusing more on live music rather than studio work. Once I pair that vision with financial worries its hard to see what clear path is being presented to me so this is the bubble thats formed around me. I can't promise that, "Im Back" or try to inherently uphold anything that clashes with my inner-directly driven thoughts and emotions but I am open minded enough to embrace the possibilities of gigging, open mic nights and potentially look at the recordings and audio that they may bring forward like live recording, furthering my content in that regards.

As for now?

Life Within - the new single releases 03/09/21

More information and the track will be live on Newgrounds shortly there after

Thanks for reading over this twoddle and my many thanks go out to all those who still clock up the individual listens to my work, comment and rate. I wholeheartedly appreciate your time, care and attention

Ile check back in with you all soon

peace and love <3